How it works
Arranging a memorial, one gentle step at a time
Most families have never arranged a headstone before. This guide shows the general shape of the journey — who is involved, what happens and what you might need — so you can feel prepared without feeling rushed.
Before you begin
There is no single right way through this
Some families begin thinking about a memorial soon after a funeral; others wait a year or more until it feels right. Some know exactly what they want, while many prefer to be guided. Whenever you are ready, we’ll explain each stage and what it asks of you, and you can pause whenever you need to.
An illustrative process, not a fixed schedule. The steps below show how arranging a memorial commonly unfolds. They are not a guaranteed sequence or timeframe — steps may overlap or happen in a different order, and timing depends on the design, the stone and the cemetery.
The steps
From first contact to completion
Eight stages, explained plainly. You’ll never be expected to manage them alone.
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You
Contact Victoria Memorials
Send us an enquiry whenever you feel ready. A few words about who the memorial is for, and the cemetery if you know it, is plenty to begin. We’ll reply to arrange a time to talk that suits you.
What you’ll need: just a name and the best way to reach you.
Not ready to talk yet? Find your memorial is a quiet way to explore styles in your own time.
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You & us
Discuss requirements and cemetery location
In a consultation — in person, by phone or by video — we talk about your loved one, your family’s customs and wishes, and where they are laid to rest. The cemetery and the type of grave matter early, because they shape what kind of memorial is possible.
What you’ll need: the cemetery name and, if you have them, the grave or plot details and any paperwork from the cemetery.
Unsure what type of grave it is? That’s common. Our cemeteries guide explains the differences, and we can help you find out.
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You & us
Select memorial style and material
Together we look at shapes, sizes, stone colours and finishes, and how each tends to weather. We’ll show you samples where possible and explain the trade-offs honestly, so the choice feels considered rather than hurried.
What you’ll need: any memorials or images you’ve admired, and a sense of what feels right for them.
Compare granite, marble and sandstone on our materials & finishes page.
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Us, then you
Review your personalised design
We prepare a design showing the memorial’s shape, layout, wording, lettering and any symbols or photographs. You review it, ask questions and request changes — as many rounds as you need.
What you’ll need: final wording, confirmed spelling of names and dates, and someone fluent to check any text in another language.
Reading names and dates aloud with another family member is a simple way to catch small errors before engraving.
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Us
Receive a detailed quotation
You receive a written quotation for the memorial as designed, setting out what is included. We’ll also point out cemetery fees, which are set by the cemetery, so you can see the full picture before deciding.
What you’ll need: time to read it, and any questions you’d like answered.
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The cemetery, you & us
Confirm cemetery permissions and requirements
Before installation, a memorial generally needs approval from the cemetery trust. The application usually describes the design, size and materials, and commonly requires the consent of the right of interment holder. The cemetery reviews it against its own rules and may set conditions for installation.
What you’ll need: the right of interment holder’s details and consent, and payment of any fees the cemetery requires.
This step often overlaps with design — we may check the cemetery’s rules early so the design is suitable from the start.
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Us
Memorial fabrication
With the design, quotation and approvals in place, your memorial is made to the approved design by experienced stonemasons, and lettering and artwork are applied to the final signed-off proof. We’ll keep you updated along the way.
What you’ll need: nothing further, unless we contact you with a question.
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Us & the cemetery
Installation and completion
The memorial is installed in line with the cemetery’s requirements and the approved permit — by us, or by the cemetery’s own staff or approved installers where a cemetery requires it. We’ll let you know once it is in place and share simple advice on caring for it.
What you’ll need: usually nothing — though you may wish to visit once it is complete.
Some families gather for a small blessing or unveiling. Let us know if you’d like the timing to fit around this.
Getting ready
What to prepare before a consultation
None of this is required to start. But if you have some of it to hand, it can make the first conversation easier.
- Full names, as they should appear, and the preferred spelling
- Dates of birth and passing (and any other dates you’d like included)
- The cemetery name and the grave or plot location — or right of interment details — if known
- The right of interment holder’s name and contact details
- Ideas for wording, a verse or an epitaph
- Any languages you’d like included, and who will check the translation
- Photographs, if you are considering a photo plaque
- Examples of memorials or designs you like
- Any religious or cultural requirements that matter to your family
- A budget range, if you feel comfortable sharing one
It’s fine not to have everything. Many families begin with only a name and a cemetery. We’ll help you gather the rest as you go.
Ask us anything
Questions you might want to ask us
A good memorial business should be happy to answer all of these. Write down any others as they come to you — nothing is too small to raise.
- What kinds of memorial does our cemetery section allow, and how will you check?
- What does your quotation include, and which fees are set by the cemetery?
- Can we see real samples of the stone and finish we’re considering?
- How will the lettering be applied, and how readable will it stay on this stone?
- Who prepares the cemetery permit application, and what do we need to sign?
- Who will install the memorial — you, or the cemetery’s own installers?
- Can we leave space to add names in the future?
- How will text in another language be set out and checked?
- What care will this memorial need over the years?
- How and when will you keep us updated?
A gentle note
Looking after yourself along the way
Choosing words and a stone for someone you love can bring a lot to the surface. It’s okay to take your time. There is rarely a need to decide everything at once, and it’s perfectly fine to pause between steps.
Many families find it helps to share the decisions — to bring a sibling, a friend or an elder to a consultation, or to take a design home and talk it over before replying. If grief feels heavy, leaning on the people you trust, or a grief support service, can make a real difference.
We’ll move at your pace, not ours.
Questions
About the process
Short answers to questions that often come up along the way.
How long does the whole process take?
It varies with the design, the stone, the cemetery’s approval process and, sometimes, how long a cemetery asks families to wait after a burial. We’ll give you a realistic estimate once we understand your memorial. More on timeframes.
Can we start designing before the cemetery approves anything?
Yes. Design and quotation usually come first, because the cemetery needs to see the proposed memorial. The memorial is generally made only once the cemetery has given its approval.
Who needs to sign the cemetery application?
Cemeteries commonly require the consent of the right of interment holder. If you’re unsure who that is, or the holder has passed away, the cemetery can explain what is needed — and we can help you prepare the questions to ask. About cemetery approval.
We live outside Melbourne. Can we still work with you?
Yes. Consultations can be held by phone or video, and designs and proofs can be shared by email so you can review them at home. Regional Victoria.
Step one is simple
Start with a conversation
Tell us a little about your loved one and the cemetery. We’ll explain what comes next, answer your questions and let you set the pace.
- No preparation needed
- No obligation
- In person, phone or video